Would You Rather Be Happy?..Or Right?
Posted on October 21, 2008 - Filed Under 3480 |
I love men.
I really do.
But one of the things that is toughest for me is when the man in my
life thinks he is right when I am pretty darn sure that he is not.
It has been a challenge to pick my battles carefully. If it is
critical that he know that he is not as right as he thinks he is, I am
building the courage and the vocabulary to gently express myself. This
morning I mentioned that I met a new friend, a medical doctor, and that
I wanted to nurture the relationship.
His reaction was, “You know, you have to watch
My immediate reaction was to defend myself by saying, “Why are
you?.(always so negative).? Parentheses because I stopped myself (boy
did it take me forever to stop myself midstream!) I changed my language
and said, “That sounded negative to me, what do you mean??
He then explained to me that a friendship with a medical person
could be hampered by asking for free medical advice and then told a
personal story that supported his feelings. I then explained that I was
aware of that and further explained why I enjoyed my conversations with
this gifted young man interested in healing the whole being.
It was important for me to express myself this time and I did. The
exchange was positive and I felt happy that he saw my perspective and
accepted it.
There are other times, and ladies, I suggest you find as many of
these as you possibly can, where I say “You are right about that.? even
if he is not quite as right I think he thinks he is. When he expresses
an opinion about something I am not emotionally invested in, I eagerly
agree knowing his heart expands when I do so.
For example, if he is talking about the high salaries of major
league athletes, I really don’t care and could say nothing, but I now
know that saying??You’re right about that.? scores me mega points in
his eyes, whether he consciously realizes it or not!
Then, if I need to express something because he is wrong about
something important , I have created a comfort zone with him and he is
more open to me.
I like being happy. I like it alot!
Maybe being right is overrated!
We really are in this together!
Catherine
About the author
Are you out of tune with your man? Did he used to be in to you but now you are not so sure? Were you sure he was your soul mate and now you are thinking, “What was I thinking??
Looking for more ideas on how to enhance your relationship? Would you
like to feel more loved and cherished? Maybe your Love Set Point is
set too low. Click here for a complimentary Love Set Point Consultation.
Tags: conversations, courage, feelings, free medical advice, friendship, heart, man in my life, medical doctor, medical person, midstream, new friend, parentheses, personal story, perspective, relationship, salaries, vocabulary, young man
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